Bad Association

All Glories to HDG Srila Bhakti Promode Puri Goswami

All Glories  to HDG Srila Bhakti Siddhanta Saraswati Goswami Prabhupada

Of the six faults that are detrimental to devotion the fifth in that  list is termed as bad association. Bad association influences us  to stray away from talks relating to the Supreme Lord and naturally  our tendency to talk unnecessarily becomes prominent. Therefore our propensity to become externally  materially orientated and hence averse to SriHari .We all know that it is by bad association that we become averse to Lord Hari. So until and unless one gives up bad association there is no other way for our real welfare. The Bhagavat declares :

asadbhih  saha sangestu na kartavyam kadachana yasmay sarva artha hanih syad adhah patas cha jayate By bad association we become completely destroyed  fall down into the material whirlpool is eminent. It is for that sole reason  that we have to be determined to give up bad association completely otherwise we will not attain our welfare. Srila Krishna Das Goswami has given us the instruction on bad association .Giving up bad association means giving up association of woman and their  associates  with also that of the non devotees. The non devotees and  illicit association of women are considered the real bad association.  It is not that we declare that either men or women are never saintly or proper but the fact of the matter that it is by unlawful association between these two that generates aversion to the Supreme Lord. The Bhagavatam speaks about  dangers of illicit association with women satyam saucham daya maunam buddhir hrir srir yasah ksamah samo damo bhavatasceti yatsangat yati tat kshayam

To  unlawfully associate with women is wrong as it makes one forget the lotus feet of Krishna and  fall under the influence of  lusty material desires with becoming bonded  which  is not proper at all. By the desire for material enjoyment they become under the influence of this material body and therefore their mind becomes bewildered by  illusion  and becomes  restless. By such bad association ,one loses his truthful nature ,good behavior, compassion, gravity, intelligence ,shame ,opulence, forgiveness, dedication to service of the Lord, control of the senses with losing all good fortune. As it is mentioned otherwise : na thathasya bhavenmoha bandhas chanya prasangatah yosidsangat yatha pumso  yatha tat sangisngatah  The fact of the matter is that unlawful association of women or with their  lusty associates is the greatest bondage in this world without comparison. In the Bhagavatam too is this verse : Mahat sevam dvaram  ahur vimuktair tamo dvaram yosit sangu sangam: The illicit connection with women is  compared as darkness and one has to complete give it up completely. Just as illicit connection with women has to be avoided so too, one has to give up association with those who lustfully associate with women. At this juncture, we have to find out the definition of illicit association with women and also with that of their lusty associates. Association of women means here unlawful association with women can also  refer to a householder who is too attached to his wife. A person devoid of  character who indulges in illicit association with different women is known by society as bad. He  is sinful and breaks away from society norms by his wicked indulgences. Further society do not usually honor a person who is completely controlled by his spouse. the reason is that instead of serving the Supreme Lord ,he has now taken that role of master accepting  by right  the services of his wife. He is simply absorbed in thinking of women. To fulfill the illusory desires of his wife has now become his vow instead of the service of Hari. In other words in his association the main subjects will be only about women irrespective and that will not help our Krishna Consciousness.  Even if by chance some had actually developed a taste about hearing about Krshna still by  bad association all such devotion to the Lord may be completely rooted out and what can be surprising about that. Hence  those who are indulging in activities and speech not related to the Lord are classified under  stri sangi  or illicit association with women. These people view every object or person for their own exploitation in terms of enjoyment. Here yosit means one who serves as yus dhatu means to give service .In other words, any one who takes service from those who serve or yosit. The materialistic person see every thing as which can provide him with some service. Just a child in expecting his parents to look after him views his parents in the form of yosit.The brother expecting service from his sister views her as yosit. The parents expecting many things in return from their son perceives him as yosit. Similarly the husband and wife mutually view each other that way so too friends of the same status view each other in that way. T he bogus guru views his rich disciple in that manner .The duplicitous disciple  perceives his so called guru will indulge him in everything he desires. All of the above view the other in the method of exploitation and hence are called senses enjoyers or visayi. Or in this respect the enjoyer (visayi) and those who engage illicit relationships  (stri sangi )are equal in meaning: Mahaprabhu has given the meaning of those entrapped by sense gratification or visayi :niskinchannya bhagavat bhajan unmukkasya param oaram jigamsorbhava sagarsya sandarshanam vusayinamathanyositancha ha hanta hanta visbhakshanotepyasadhu

For those steadfast devotees who are engaging in devotions and by the strength of devotion are aspiring to cross the material ocean of suffering ,illicit association with women is compared to worse than drinking poison. Even if one's relatives are helping in some way with our devotional service they are said to be the actual relatives and may be inclusive as being our gurus but if they are not helpful they can be all labelled as bad association. In Srimad Bhagavat is the following verse :guru na syat svajano na sa syat pita na sa yat svajanani na sa syat daivam na tam syat patischa na sa syat na mochayed samupetyam mrtyum  One who mixes with such close relatives who are enwrapped in the bodily conception of life falls down with them and the mentality of such people usually  becomes reduced to that  of beasts .The Bhagavatam gives the definition of such people as donkeys as in the verse below. yasya atmabuddhi kunape tridhatuke svadhih kalatradishu bhaumya ijya dhih yasya tithabuddhih salila na karhichit janesu abhijnesu sa eva go kaharah

Here kalatra means son ,daughter, mother ,father, sister, husband ,wife because  all of them in  that feeling of bodily conception of association is in fact in the mood of exploitation and enjoyment. The non devotee is also  considered bad association. Although those who indulge in illicit association are said to be bad association yet there are those who in spite of no such indulgence because of their being non devotees are to be avoided. There are those who not implicated in material enjoyment yet because they are bent on impersonalism  to merge in the Brahman and also there are those who want to  merge in the Supersoul by the practice  of yoga .All the above classes of non devotees are to be avoided as they crush the seed of devotion inherent in us. The devotee of Krishna on the topmost platform  hence very rare as by the  description  in the scriptures. Here bad association specifically refers to those who indulge in illicit association with women and those who are non devotees. In conclusion it is recommended that the only association one should value are to be with the unalloyed devotees of Krishna and no one else as they are the real key to freedom from material attachment.